5TROUBLE GOOD MOJO MUSIC ROMANCE CUSTOMIZE STASH BASICS4THE BA S ICSTHE BA S ICSone is active while another is passive. In a MINI, all are actively engaged in the enjoyment of motoring. However,there are a few specific responsibilitiesby seat assignment:1. Pilot/Motorer ( a.k.a. El Capitan,Skipper, Mac Daddy). In charge ofmechanical functions and directoperation of the motor vehicle. Period. 2. Navigator ( a.k.a. Co-Pilot, First Mate,Little Buddy). Responsible for: 1) Navi-gation. 2) Operation of MINI MagicalMotoring Ball (See fig. 12). 3) Fast fooddrive-thru item checklist and BeverageStabilization (Be vStab). (See Fig. 3). 4)Interior hood release. 5) Also in charge ofstowing maps, souvenir snow globes,and sc outing for photo op. locations.3. Passengers (a .k.a. Crew, BackseatDrivers). In a MINI, suggestions from thepeanut gallery are encouraged. Motoring is a democratic act. Tyrannical controlmay lead to mutiny on the highway.4. Cabin Attendants ( a.k.a. Passengers).R esponsible for in- flightmeal and beverageservice. And implementing emergencyc omedic pr ocedures in event of suddenloss of cabin levity.Fig. 1 MI NI InkblotTest–Seeing bug splatters isa healthy sign you’re discovering your MINI’strue personality.Fig. 2 Y our MINI turns a car wash into a foam party! [Refer to Making Room for Romance Section]Fig. 3 Beverage Stabilization in Action.Notice how the passenger tilts the cupprecisely seven degrees (above) compen-sating for the centrifugal forces actingupon the beverage as a result of yourMI NI ’s tight cornering performance (left).The Boot, the Bonnet& Commander Cooper W ith a British car comes some rather fo r eign English terminology. The followingare a few terms you can now use toimpress your "mates": The "boot" is thebit around the back. It’s where you stickthe cricket bats and the take-away fish-n-chips. The "bonnet" is that brilliantpiece of sculpted sheet metal symmetryco v ering the Cooper (S) bits. That’s"Commander John Cooper" to youcheeky Yank blokes— British RacingRo y alty’s Monarch of ModifiedTr ansverse-Mounted Engines, Earl ofAcceleration, Duke of Hairpin Turns,C ount of Countless Checkered Flags.Tr anslation, mates: this MINI’s a real go-er. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more. Good show. Cheers.DetailingHow to remove greasy prints, onlookerdrool spatters and road grime to restorey our MINI’s lustrous factory finish: Step 1. Maintain proper perspective.MI NI owners do not irrationally obsessabout such things. Bug guts on the grilleand muddy fenders are signs of a healthy,well-motored life. Imagine it’s like toolingaround town in a Jackson Pollock original.But every now and then, you may wantto start over with a clean canvas. Step 2. Always use a soft sponge and mildbiodegradable soap. Land and sea creaturesar e our friends.Assigned Cabin SeatingT echnically speaking, everyone motors ina MINI. The conventional nomenclatureof "driver" and "passenger" no longerapplies because it segregates, implying ©2002 The Pollock-Krasner Foundation / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New YorkMINI 10535 UOM 7/16/02 11:49 AM Page 6
