31TROUBLE GOOD MOJO MUSIC ROMANCE CUSTOMIZE STASH BASICSTROUBLESHOOTINGFOUR THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO TO YOUR MINI1.Never leave your MINI unattended and unlocked with theengine running and a giant sign on top reading, “Back inten — feel free to move car if in way.”2.Absolutely no Viking helmets. Not the football team, theancient Nordic conquerors. No matter how much the explorerspirit of motoring gets in your blood, resist the urge. PointyViking horns may cause damage to plush vehicle interior.3.Never drive through flowing water. That’s called motor BOATING.4.Never call your MINI by another car’s name.30TROUBLESHOOTINGRotating Your Shorts in PublicWhether wiggling out of soggy swimtrunks at the beach, or slipping intomoisture-wicking bike shorts for a ridein the country, follow these instructionsfor taking it all off and putting it allback on. And save yourself the lewd & lascivious downtime. CAUTION: Car doors should not beused as privacy screens by those over 6'tall. Because of your MINI’s lower centerof gravity, doors may be inadequate forkeeping your private bits out of otherpeople’s snooping noses. So to speak. 1.Wrap a beach towel around your waist.2.Sit down inside vehicle and, reachingunder towel, use a shimmying motionto remove what you’re wearing, takingcare not to loosen towel. 3.Repeat in reverse order, applyingclothes until dressed.Fig. 31 Use discretion. And keep the catcalls, woos and whistles for your MINI.
