5TROUBLE GOOD MOJO MUSIC ROMANCE CUSTOMIZE STASH BA SICS4THE BASICSTHE BASICSone is active while another is passive. In a MINI, all are actively engaged in the enjoyment of motoring. However,there are a few specific responsibilitiesby seat assignment:1. Pilot/Motorer(a.k.a. El Capitan,Skipper, Mac Daddy). In charge ofmechanical functions and directoperation of the motor vehicle. Period. 2. Navigator(a.k.a. Co-Pilot, First Mate,Little Buddy). Responsible for: 1) Navi-gation. 2) Fast food drive-thru itemchecklist and Beverage Stabilization(BevStab). (See Fig. 3). Interior hoodrelease. 4) Also in charge of stowingmaps, souvenir snow globes, andscouting for photo op locations.3. Passengers(a.k.a. Crew, BackseatDrivers). In a MINI, suggestions from thepeanut gallery are encouraged. Motoring is a democratic act. Tyrannical controlmay lead to mutiny on the highway.4. Cabin Attendants (a.k.a. Passengers).Responsible for in-flightmeal and beverageservice.And implementing emergencycomedic procedures in event of suddenloss of cabin levity.Fig. 1MINI InkblotTest–Seeing bug splatters isa healthy sign you’re discovering your MINI’strue personality.Fig. 2Your MINI turns a car wash into a foam party! [Refer to Making Room for Romance Section]Fig. 3Beverage Stabilization in action.Notice how the passenger tilts the cupprecisely seven degrees (above)compensating for the centrifugal forcesacting upon the beverage as a result ofyour MINI’s tight cornering performance(left).The Boot, the Bonnet& Commander Cooper With a British car comes some rather foreign English terminology. The followingare a few terms you can now use toimpress your “mates:”The “boot”is thebit around the back. It’s where you stickthe cricket bats and the take-away fish-n-chips. The “bonnet”is that brilliantpiece of sculpted sheet metal symmetrycovering the Cooper (S) bits. That’s“Commander John Cooper”to youcheeky Yank blokes — British RacingRoyalty’s Monarch of ModifiedTransverse-Mounted Engines, Earl ofAcceleration, Duke of Hairpin Turns,Count of Countless Checkered Flags.Translation, mates: this MINI’s a real go-er. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more. Good show. Cheers.DetailingHow to remove greasy prints, onlookerdrool spatters and road grime to restoreyour MINI’s lustrous factory finish: Step 1.Maintain proper perspective.MINI owners do not irrationally obsessabout such things. Bug guts on the grilleand muddy fenders are signs of a healthy,well-motored life. Imagine it’s like toolingaround town in an abstract painting. Butevstart over with a clean canvas. Step 2.Always use a soft sponge and mildbiodegradable soap. Land and sea creaturesareour friends.Assigned Cabin SeatingTechnically speaking, everyone motors ina MINI. The conventional nomenclatureof “driver”and “passenger”no longerapplies because it segregates, implying
